Are You A Lockdown Cliche?

Are you a lockdown cliche?

Spoiler alert: if you’re reading this, you’re halfway there.   

Baking banana bread, not knowing what day it is, maintaining a very loose grip on when it’s socially acceptable to be out of your PJs… we’re right here with you.

To help you through coronavirus quarantine, we’ve seen into your soul (rigorously observing social distancing guidelines) and created this handy checklist. The more you tick, the more of a cliché you are...

  • Baked banana bread.
  • Eaten an extraordinary quantity of banana bread. Have you tried it with Nutella? Warning: it’s hard to go back to plain. But hey, that’s OK, because…
  • You’ve done a lot of PE with Joe Wicks. More than the Body Coach himself, in fact, who seems to spend a lot of time shouting about how many people are watching him work out, and less time actually working out.  
  • Started knitting.
  • Abandoned knitting, realising why you’ve never taken this hobby any further before.
  • Completed a jigsaw puzzle for the sole purpose of photographing it with an arty filter for your social.
  • Spent six hours a day staring at your face on the screen. There’s a full day of video calls for work, because it turns out when we don’t see our colleagues we really miss the meetings we used to moan about. Then of course evenings see us flicking between Zoom and House Party.
  • Created your own zoom quiz, complete with a scavenger hunt, cocktail menu and compulsory fancy dress, because now we’ve pretty much run out of chat.
  • Had big plans to wear all the amazing outfits in your wardrobe you never get around to wearing.
  • Reverted to wearing the same leggings all day every day. Honestly, you don’t know how you’ll go back to normal life without a comfortable elasticated waistband around your middle.
  • Welled up during the NHS clap.
  • Binge watched Tiger King, then went straight onto the Michael Jordan documentary.
  • Cut your partner’s hair. Laughed a little too hard at the results.
  • Dyed your roots. Made a mental note to book a trip to the hairdresser the second lockdown is over.
  • Performed a dance for Tik Tok without really knowing what Tik Tok is. 
  • Did one too many social media challenges, and hoped no-one would notice your 5k run was a teensy bit short. 
  • Got lost down a news hole, felt glum about *gestures at the pandemic / universe / eerily quiet street* all this. Decided not to follow the news any more.
  • Got pulled back into the news.
  • Logged into your work email and then realised it’s Saturday. And you don’t have a clue what to do this weekend. Don’t worry: try this

 

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